Have you ever let small insignificant comments or actions become huge relationship changing, marriage damaging things?  Your spouse has said something that shouldn’t have offended you but you let it offend you?  Have you let the offense go on for hours, days, weeks, or maybe even…years?

You know there’s a better, healthier way to deal with it, right?  

Last Sunday evening after our ending our fast, Pat made a comment about one of the things I asked for during our couple’s prayer.  

Rather than taking time to get on the same page, which would have been the right thing to do,  I chose to take offense at her comment.  Bad choice, I know.

Because I chose to take offense the usual closeness between us faded, as did the spirit.  Instead of cuddling together as we usually do each night, I laid on my back and became very quiet.  Yes, I withdrew.  Strike 2, right?

Though I tried to get control of my thoughts and feelings and get back on track, it didn’t work.  Even though Pat and I had both apologized, Pat for somehow offending me and me for being offended.  Our relationship still wasn’t as close as it had been.  The spirit had withdrawn, just as I had and the answers to the specific purposes I had been seeking in my fast and prayers hadn’t and wouldn’t come.  

Serving in the temple Tuesday morning, I had some very sweet and tender moments but the spirit didn’t stay.  Something just wasn’t right.

Christ taught  ‘That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment…Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee;  Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.” Matthew 5:22-24

I believe that when we choose to take offense, the spirit is unable to be with us.  He can still influence us, but cannot stay. 

Wednesday evening I finally overcame my ego and  let the offense go.  Pat and I talked it through..  Pat wasn’t trying to offend or hurt me, it was me choosing to be offended.  I had let my ego get hurt, for no real reason.  My conscience was telling me I needed to let it go.  For almost 3 days it told my ego to let it go.  Sometimes I’m slow to humble myself enough to listen to my conscience and let the  spirit work in my life,

Thursday while I was in the temple the answers I had been seeking flowed into my mind.   They were coming so fast I barely had time  to write them all down.  Answers and confirming feelings I had been seeking.  Answers to how to accomplish projects I had been struggling with came into my mind clearly and specifically.

When we choose to take offense, we choose to lose the spirit and the guidance and help of our Heavenly Father.  Our Heavenly Father wants to be and enjoys being part of our lives, just as Pat and I want to be a part of and enjoy being part of our children’s and grandchildren’s lives.  But even so much more than we can understand.

Be wiser than I have been and choose to not let little insignificant pride-based offenses keep His spirit from being an active part of your life.  

If you’re offended, stay present (don’t withdrawn or checkout), talk it through, and don’t let it linger between you.  You, your spouse, and your relationship will all suffer without the spirit being part of your life.

Part 2 

Receive more faith-based relationship strengthening tips by joining our email list.